Congratulations Mrs. Vail! Youre not 14 anymore! I feel like now that youve had a birthday, I cant tease you about being young any longer! While it was nice of you to wait so many years, now its going to make things harder on me. Whyd you have to go and do that? What will I talk to you about next time Im out that way? Or next time youre out this way? I mean, Ill just stand around awkwardly, shuffling my feet and staring at the ground! Man. Whyd you have to go and have a birthday?

I tease, of course – teasing you about being young is only half of how I communicate with you, right? The other half is trying to steal you from Scott. And I can do that no matter how old we are.

What are you doing for your birthday today? Are the kids at school treating you especially well because its your birthday? Do they bring you apples? If I were your student, Id bring you an apple.