This is the Privacy Statement:
Please respect my privacy. That is not quite the same as were I to have asked you to respect my privates, but it is nonetheless an important request. Whether or not I respect my own privacy (or, indeed, privates, for that matter) is an issue entirely at my discretion.
I will not reveal any personal information that i collect about you (your hair color, shoe size, cup size, favorite sweater or cat’s name, among other things). I won’t reveal that your fantasies all include Telly from Sesame Street or that your sister’s last boyfriend had a secret crush on you, either. Under the threat of death I will reveal nothing, nor will I spill when data-miners come begging for the secrets that I know so that they may better understand you and your purchasing habits (waver not, oh nervous one, i shan’t reveal your penchant for black market rabbit buys).
All the … nonsense and … drivel and brain-pukes onto sillicon are all mine, mine, mine and if either myself, my crack team of lawyers or any of my legions of web-surfing minions catch you stealing any of the intellectual property tht is mine, my hardware will go Microsoft on your ass with the quickness that will leave you begging for software, I swear.
Now look what you’ve done–you’ve made me get all threatening. I’m out of breath now. But we have an understanding, do we not?
Here ends the reading and the hearing of this site’s holy privacy statement.