From the Onion:
"Libra (September 23 – October 23):
An 8-year-old asshole will give away all 43 endings to the "Choose Your Own Adventure" book youre reading."

I mean, really. Effin kids.

In other news, Ive been fighting some ill-defined illness all week, and also have been patently unable to sleep past 6am, no matter whether Im going to bed early or late. Last night, I just about passed out at like 10:30, unable to force myself to stay awake anymore. Night before I was up till just after 12, puttering around, and still, both mornings I popped awake at just before six.

Enough of this. Do you believe in horoscopes? I only believe in the Onions horoscopes.