Okay, so Im driving to work, right? No, wait – I read recently that every story can be made better if it starts with “No shit, so there I was…” and I kinda believe it, so let me try again.

No shit, so there I was, driving to work this morning. I find myself throwing up my hands in disbelief at the way people arent paying attention to the road, arent starting to drive when the light turns green, etc – its like driving in Houston. Anyway, heres the thing – we need drivers routes. People who want to drive, not meander, not put on makeup, not ogle joggers, just drive, should only be allowed on these roads. They should have priority traffic light routing and tickets for driving like theyre taking a three-year-old to school. And no Volvos. For the love of god, no Volvos.

This is a good idea. Im writing a draft of the bill to be put before city council this weekend, including maps of what I think should be designated driving routes. Yes. This is a fantastic idea. And is this story better because I started it the way I did, or what?