strangely enough, although im exhausted, i feel like ranting tonight for the first time in a long time. I just feel like its all games, games designed to protect ourselves, parts of us that certainly dont need protecting. The older I get, the less patience I have with the games (those of you who have known me a long time know that my patience has never been that good anyway…), the deflection – what amounts to lying on the part of potential friends, in, basically, a pathetic attempt to hide our feelings. Its retardation, magnified by the natural insecurities of Hollywood, and welcome to it.
Fuck it – Im tired and the week has been never-ending. Ive got to go up to bed and sleep just long enough to muster up my game face for tomorrow. Its ironic, because I always feel like Im strapping on my game face, which means that no one sees the real me, no matter how hard I work at making the game face match the real face. Since thats the case, I think Im just compounding the problem that I most want to scream about. Goddamnit.