So theres this thing I was thinking about 2 years ago. I think I should do some of this more often, because it forces into alignment how I was then and how I am now.
From 16 October, 2002:
|Ive gotten to thinking recently, since this day has been coming up for awhile now, thinking about milestones and moments. Im no longer a quarter of a century old–Ive passed that mark. Disturbingly enough, if I was my father, Id be in the halfway point of my entire life right now. Somehow, that one year difference seems pretty huge right now. Granted, Im not my dad and I intend to live to be 101 or something insane, but you never know, I guess. Its an interesting way to face the day. The thing I keep thinking about recently is the fact that no matter how long were going to live, every second of our lives, weve already lived our whole life. I dont know if that makes sense written that way, so Ill come at it from a different angle. Taking the assumption that none of us is guaranteed anything, every advancing second of our life is the last one we have–were living life one last second at a time. When a minute passes into another, the one just elapsed becomes the second to last minute of our lives. This keeps happening continuously, in such volume that it makes the measurement insignificant, even. I guess thats where assumptions about our continued lives come in–i mean, if i survive this-freaking-many last seconds, doesnt it stand to reason that I can survive maybe a million more? I mean, Im good at this whole survival thing. But there are no promises. Me not being my father doesnt promise me 101 full years. There is no promise, and keeping that mindset seems to add a sense of urgency to the ever-passing moments of life. Shang Tsung says “Treasure these moments as if they were your last” and to him I say, “They are my last” –each one is my last until it is replaced with a new last. Sooner or later, I know, you are given one, distinct moment for people to count as your last, but until that one, there are innumerable others just like it save for the fact that they get replaced regularly with another tick of the clock.
Anyway, I guess the message of the day for Jareds birthday is to treasure these moments because they are your last–each and every one.
Sometime just before this update posts, I think, Ill have lived approximately 883, 008,000 seconds, each one was, at one point, the last Id ever lived. Lastly, I wonder why I always refer to today as Jareds birthday. Theres something here, but Im way too tired to get to the bottom of it now.