I dont know whats been happening with me for the past week or so, but my motivation level has been at an all-time low. its like some alien just came by and sucked out all my inspiration and left just a shell in its place. Im retarded with stagnation. Its like being trapped in a coffin and not even giving a shit.

And that sucks.

Im going to make a concerted effort, when Im out in California, to NOT think about the projects Im involved in, to NOT work on anything but my tan, and to simply relax, and see if that helps my motivation level at all.

the old pack
Its retarded, though, thinking about needing a vacation when I basically havent worked in 6 months, but its not the vacation I need but the escape. I also havent left NYC for anything more than a weekend since Christmas, and even then I was on a truncated time table because I had to get back so fast for New Years. Whatever the reason, Im looking forward to getting away, and I think itll help me find some focus and some inspiration. Well see.

First, though, Joe Blandy is getting effing married, and Im going to the wedding on Saturday. Its weird having your close friends from childhood get hitched becuase it helps define the differences in who you were when you see who you have become. One good thing about all this is that its on Fathers Day weekend, and, while I wouldnt choose it as MY anniversary (potential dads gotta space out the goodness), Im glad that I can be home hanging out for the morning. Maybe Ill even get to see Emily. That would be good for me.