I have it, you have it, we all have it. Does it make you sad when you miss out on it? Only if you know youre
missing out, right? I think I carry around the general belief
that were surrounded with opportunity, and it takes events like
tonights (nothing particularly unique, that much Ill say) to make me
really think about it. I have a lot of experience not quite being in the circle, not quite being
in the crowd, and its an interesting place to be. On one hand,
its lonely when you know that things are going on of which youre not
a part, but on another hand, its liberating to know that youre not
constrained by the rules of whatever world you dont quite
inhabit. I know a lot of people think that if they just follow
those rules, theyll get in, but I dont think it works that way.
You can dress the part and talk the part, but youll never be in the
high school "in" crowd unless you have that ineffible thing, right? Its a metaphor, but it works well enough.

I think that Ive been feeling just behind the curve recently, and
thats a sort of new thing for me. There are always situations,
of course, but I think the last few months have been generally that
way, and its unsettling. I dont know how to go about catching the
front of the wave, but its something Ive gotta learn, I think, or
else I think Im in danger of going under and staying there.

Holy mixing of metaphors, Batman! I think Im tired, what do you think?